Song Time: Step Into Christmas- the misheard lyrics

CHRISTMAS.

IT'S HERE, AND I LOVE IT.

I love everything about Christmas. The decorations, the food, the time with friends and family, the presents, the food, the carols, Christmas shopping, the food...

However, Christmas is also a desperately busy time for students, as we race to write half a dozen things in the space of a week that we should technically have been working on for three months, but couldn't be arsed to.
So, instead of a witty and insightful comment on the festive season, have this placeholder I wrote a while ago. It's my own personal interpretation of whatever the heck Elton John is singing in his famous Christmas track "Step Into Christmas."
Turns out it's actually about his pathological fear of women.

Sing along!

 

Welcome to my Christmas, son! I'd like to thank you for the ear!
So I'm ascending you this Christmas, Carl, to say it's nice to have you here,
I'd like to sing about all the things your icy mind can see,
So hop aboard your turkey, boy,
Ooooh...
Step into Christmas with me, yeah!

 

Step into Christmas, leg joints together,
Eating lots of snow forever and ever!
Eek, it's a female, come along with me!
Step into Christmas, this adventure's free!

 

Take Karen, all you do next year! Your kid's smiling, chew the days!
If we can help to entertain you, oho, we will find a maze!
So merry Christmas one and all, the noblest I'd rather be,
Stop asking you if you'll oblige, stepping into Christmas with meeeee...

 

Step into Christmas, less joined together,
Eating lots of snow forever and ever!
Eek, it's a femur, come along with me!
Step into Christmas, this admission's free!

 

Wah-ho-ho-ho!

 

Welcome to my Christmas, son! I'd like to thank you for the ear!
So I'm ascending you this Christmas, Carl, to say it's nice to have you here,
I'd like to sing about all the things your icy mind can see,
So hop aboard your turkey boat,
Ooooh...
Step into Christmas with a mean yeah!

 

Step into Christmas, leg joints together,
Eating lots of snow forever and ever!
Eek, it's a feline, come along with me!
Step into Christmas, the admission's free!

 

Step into Christmas, leg joints together,
Eating yellow snow forever and ever!
Eek, it's old Felix, come along with me!
Step into Christmas, this admission's free!

 

Step into Christmas, leg joints together,
Eating yellow snow forever and ever!
Itching this feeling, come along with me!
Step into Christmas, this old mission's free!

 

Yeeeeah, step into Christmas!
Aaaaargh, this bra is forever!
Yeeeah, camels are with me!
Aaaaaaargh...



Actual posts coming in the week before Christmas. I promise.